


Honorary Kurosakis

by chellerrific



Category: Bleach
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-18
Updated: 2013-06-18
Packaged: 2017-12-15 09:29:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/847959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chellerrific/pseuds/chellerrific
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just another family dinner.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Honorary Kurosakis

**Author's Note:**

> I had a sudden mental image of this scenario happening and once I managed to get past the ensuing gigglefit, this was the result.

If it was possible to be more uncomfortable than this, Ichigo didn’t want to know about it. He’d been stabbed, slashed, punched through walls, kicked into the ground, shot with kido, turned into a soul-devouring monster (twice), and pretty much died a few times, and this was still worse than any of those.

Byakuya Kuchiki was sitting in his house, at his kitchen table, having dinner with his family.

“I appreciate you inviting me tonight,” Byakuya said in that cool, dispassionate way he said everything, the way that betrayed nothing of his true feelings.

 _Yeah, right! You invited yourself!_ Ichigo just barely didn’t say. Still, Byakuya was being polite, and he had to admit that counted for a lot.

“I understand your wanting to meet us completely!” Isshin said, and though so far he had mercifully managed to rein in his more bizarre behaviors, he was still talking too loudly. “Why, we’ve come to think of Rukia here as family, but that doesn’t diminish any other family she might have! If either of my little darlings spent time living with another family, I’d want to meet them too!”

“Note to self: do whatever it takes to prevent that,” Karin muttered, looking at him askance through narrowed eyes.

“It warmed my heart so, the way they took me in, Brother,” Rukia said, dabbing under her eyes at nonexistent tears with a napkin. “They have been ever so good to me.”

Ichigo grimaced. What the hell was with the act? Everybody at the table knew what she was. Maybe acting like a dork was habit now and she couldn’t break it. Or maybe this was her real personality and the tough guy thing was the act. It would explain a few things. Mostly the rabbit obsession.

“How could we not?” Yuzu said, eyes shining with an earnestness pretty much nobody else in the room was capable of. “You’re Ichigo’s friend, after all. And now you’re our friend too!”

While his family and Rukia fawned over each other, Ichigo found himself repeatedly glancing back at Byakuya. Despite his insistence on coming here, Byakuya hadn’t said much—no probing questions, no requests to see the rest of the house, nothing. In fact, most of his attention was focused on Isshin, whom he watched with a measured gaze. It was freaking Ichigo out, like Byakuya was envisioning what it would be like to disembowel Isshin.

“That reminds me!” Isshin said suddenly, getting to his feet so fast his knees banged against the table. “I have something for you!”

Ichigo had completely lost the thread of the conversation and so had no idea what Isshin was up to. As usual when it came to things his father thought were good ideas, though, Ichigo was apprehensive.

“Ta-da!” Isshin returned, brandishing a pale pink shirt that said “HONORARY KUROSAKI.” A crudely-drawn sketch of what could only be Isshin giving a thumbs-up decorated the corner. “I got one for each of you!”

Everyone stared, at a complete loss for words.

There it was, right there: the most uncomfortable Ichigo had ever been.

“I love it!” Rukia declared suddenly, taking a sledgehammer to the tension. “Aren’t they darling, Brother?”

Byakuya took a long sip of his tea, then carefully set the cup back down. “Precious,” he said at length.

Ichigo only just managed not to throw his hands up in the air. He gave up.

He turned his head away from the spectacle, wondering if it was possible to quit people. His eyes fell on the kitchen window—and the redheaded guy staring in through it.

Renji’s eyes widened when they caught Ichigo’s. He tried to put on his best sheepish and innocent expression, but even his best fell totally flat. He couldn’t have looked sheepish covered head to toe in wool.

Ichigo made small but violent “get lost” gestures.

Yuzu gave Ichigo a questioning look, then turned to see out the window. Renji quickly disappeared, though he needn’t have bothered, since he wasn’t in a gigai and Yuzu couldn’t have seen him anyway.

“Is something wrong?” she asked, concerned.

“No, just a muscle spasm,” Ichigo told her, glaring at the window.

Yuzu looked between him and the window once more, then wisely decided to let it go.

“It’s good to know that Rukia has been in good hands here,” Byakuya said. “I’d like to reimburse you for her room and board, as well as the items of your daughter’s clothing she—”

“Borrowed,” Rukia finished quickly, flashing her best and most insincere smile.

Isshin slammed his palm on the table, and everyone was staring at him again.

 _Here we go_ , Ichigo thought for maybe the tenth time in the last hour.

“I refuse!” Isshin bellowed. “I could never accept payment for the care and feeding of one of my own!”

“Dad, he’s freaking loaded,” Ichigo said. “Just take the money.”

“Absolutely not!”

Byakuya seemed thoroughly unmoved. “If that’s how you feel.”

“It is! It is how I feel, and what’s more, it’s how I _am feeling_!”

“Dad, they get it,” Karin said.

“I agree!” Yuzu said, not hearing Karin, tiny fist half-raised in defiance. “My closet is your closet, Rukia!”

 _That makes two closets she’s got here_ , Ichigo thought dryly, _plus however many at Byakuya’s_.

When at last the Kuchikis took their leave, bearing a pair of pink custom t-shirts and extra dessert Yuzu had been astonishingly firm they take, Ichigo let out the longest breath of his life. It had gone better than it could have, since no blood had been shed and there had been blessedly little sexual innuendo, but all the same if he never had to do it again he could probably die happy.

“So now you’ve seen for yourself they’re good people, just like I said,” Rukia remarked once the goodbyes had finished and she and her brother were on their way home.

Byakuya didn’t respond for a long moment.

“Brother?” she prompted. “What did you think?”

His mouth twitched almost imperceptibly. “That was… illuminating.”

“Illuminating?”

“I understand that boy a great deal more now.”

Rukia decided to spin that as good, and found herself smiling just a little.

“Tell Renji to ask next time if he wants to be invited, instead of lurking around outside,” Byakuya added as an afterthought.

Rukia nodded. “Maybe it’s not too late for Ichigo’s dad to get him a t-shirt made too.”


End file.
